I am drowning deeply in these thoughts alone
sitting, staring, into a dark unknown
i close my eyes to shield me from the
darkness dancing around me;
moulding me into what they wanted me to be
haunted and held within these walls
i shiver from the terror of the unknown
because i am not what they see;
pushing past the burning pain inside
sitting, staring, into a dark unknown
I know what is happening and I am helpless,
helpless to help myself;
I want a moment to be real
wanna touch things I don’t feel,
wanna hold on and feel I belong,
it was the comfort that i seeked;
as the dawn of a new day approached,
and the madness of the day came to life,
i am still here trying to find out
who i am, who i’m not and who i wanna be;
no way to know till you be with me..
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
NINE HEALTHY HABITS
For years, business and motivational gurus have
known that there are basic habits that seem to
predict professional success and excellence. Books
like "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People",
by motivational speaker and business guru Stephen
Covey, PhD has sold over 15 million copies alone,
to people hungry for the secrets of success.
We don't yet have the perfect formula for long life,
happiness and physical health, but a little careful
distillation of the massive amount of research on
health and longevity reveals that cultivating nine
basic habits will significantly increase the odds of
your living long, well and happily, in a robust,
healthy, weight-appropriate body.
1.Eat your vegetables.
No kidding. And I'm talking at least 9 servings a
day.. Unless you're following the most stringent
first stage of the Atkins Diet, you should be able
to consume 60-120 grams of carbs a day
(depending on your weight and exercise level),
and you'd have to eat a stockyard full of spinach
to get to that amount. Every major study of
long-lived, healthy people shows that they eat a
ton of plant foods. Nothing delivers antioxidants,
fiber, flavonoids, indoles, and the entire
pharmacopia of disease fighting phytochemicals
like stuff that grows.
2.Eat fish and/or take fish oil.
The Omega-3's found in cold-water fish like
salmon deserve the title of "wellness molecule
of the century". They lower the risk of heart
disease, they lower blood pressure, they
improve mood and they're good for the brain.
And if you're pregnant, they may make
your kid smarter!
3.Connect.
And I'm not talking about the internet. In virtually
every study of people who are healthy and happy
into their 9th and 10th decade, social connections
are one of the "prime movers" in their life.
Whether church, family, volunteer work or community,
finding something you care about that's bigger than
you that you can connect with and that involves other
people (or animals) will extend your life, increase
your energy, and make you happier. Only always.
4.Get some sun.
At least 10-15 minutes three times a week.
Interestingly, a recent study of four places in
the globe where people lived the longest and
were the healthiest noted that all four places
were in sunny climates. Sun improves your
mood and boosts levels of cancer-fighting,
performance-enhancing, bone-strengthening
vitamin D, a vitamin most people don't get
nearly enough of.
5.Sleep Well.
If you're low in energy, gaining weight, grumpy
and looking haggard, guess what? - chances are
you're not sleeping nearly long enough nor well
enough. By sleeping "well", I mean uninterrupted
sleep, in the dark, without the television on, in a
relaxing environment. Nothing nourishes,
replenishes and restarts the system like 7-9 hours
sleep. Hint: start by going to bed an hour early.
And if you've got a computer in the bedroom,
banish it.
6.Exercise every day.
Forget this 20 minutes three times a week stuff.
Long lived people are doing things like farm
chores at 4:30 in the morning! Our Paleolithic
ancestors traveled an average of 20 miles per day.
Our bodies were designed to move on a regular
basis. New studies show that merely 30 minutes a
day of walking not only reduces the risk of most
serious diseases, but can even grow new brain cells!
7.Practise Gratitude.
By making a list of things you're grateful for, you
focus the brain on positive energy. Gratitude is
incompatable with anger and stress. Practise using
your under-utilized "right brain" and spread some
love. Focusing on what you're grateful for - even for
five minutes a day - has the added benefit of being
one of the best stress -reduction techniques on the
planet.
8. Eat red grapes.
The resveratrol in dark grapes is being studied for
its effect on extending life, which it seems to do for
almost every species studied. (So does eating about
1/3 less food, by the way.) If you've got a problem
with alcohol, you can get resveratrol from grapes,
peanuts or supplements. (And if you're a woman,
and you choose the alcohol option, make sure
you're getting folic acid every day.)
9.Get the sugar out.
The number one enemy of vitality, health and
longevity is not fat, it's sugar. Sugar's effect on
hormones, moods, immunity, weight and possibly
even cancer cells is enormous, and it's all negative.
To the extent that you can remove it from your diet,
you will be adding years to your life and life to your
years.
This list may not be perfect and it may not be
complete, but it's a start. As my dear grandmother
used to say, "Couldn't hurt". Not one of these"habits"
will hurt you, all will benefit you, and some may
make the difference between life and death.
And it's never too late to start cultivating them.
5 QUESTIONS BY WOMEN
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
1. Baseball.
2. Football.
3. How fat you are.
4. How much prettier she is than you.
5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy,
who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or,
if you feel a more detailed answer is in order,
"Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
1. I suppose so.
2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3. That depends on what you mean by love.
4. Does it matter?
5. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic:
"Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
1. Compared to what?
2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
4. I've seen fatter.
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic:
"Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
1. Yes, but you have a better personality
2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
4. Define 'pretty'
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")
No matter how you answer this,
be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions,
usually along the these lines:
She....Would you get married again?
He.....Definitely not!
She....Why not - don't you like being married?
He.....Of course I do.
She....Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He.....Okay, I'd get married again.
She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He.....Yes, I would.
She....Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He.....Where else would we sleep?
She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
1. Baseball.
2. Football.
3. How fat you are.
4. How much prettier she is than you.
5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy,
who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or,
if you feel a more detailed answer is in order,
"Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
1. I suppose so.
2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3. That depends on what you mean by love.
4. Does it matter?
5. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic:
"Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
1. Compared to what?
2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
4. I've seen fatter.
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic:
"Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
1. Yes, but you have a better personality
2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
4. Define 'pretty'
5. Could you repeat the question?
I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")
No matter how you answer this,
be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions,
usually along the these lines:
She....Would you get married again?
He.....Definitely not!
She....Why not - don't you like being married?
He.....Of course I do.
She....Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He.....Okay, I'd get married again.
She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He.....Yes, I would.
She....Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He.....Where else would we sleep?
She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.
Let go of fearful thoughts
If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.
Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.
Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.
A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.
What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Do you Know
People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.
People with blue eyes see better in dark.
Money isn't made out of paper, it is made out of cotton.
A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it go mad instantly and sting itself to death.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.
The USA uses 29% of the world's petrol and 33% of the world's electricity.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear By 700 times.
The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.
Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
We exercise at least 30 muscles when we smile.
Our nose is our personal air-conditioning system: it warms cold air, cools hot air and filters impurities.
Our brain is more complex than the most powerful computer and has over 100 billion nerve cells.
When a person dies, hearing is usually the first sense to go.
There is a great mushroom in Oregon that is 2,400 years old. It Covers 3.4 square miles of land and is still growing.
German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing
Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left.
The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee.
It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
People with blue eyes see better in dark.
Money isn't made out of paper, it is made out of cotton.
A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it go mad instantly and sting itself to death.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.
The USA uses 29% of the world's petrol and 33% of the world's electricity.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear By 700 times.
The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.
Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
We exercise at least 30 muscles when we smile.
Our nose is our personal air-conditioning system: it warms cold air, cools hot air and filters impurities.
Our brain is more complex than the most powerful computer and has over 100 billion nerve cells.
When a person dies, hearing is usually the first sense to go.
There is a great mushroom in Oregon that is 2,400 years old. It Covers 3.4 square miles of land and is still growing.
German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing
Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left.
The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee.
It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
I cannot promise that I'll always know the right words to comfort you when you need support... But I'll try
I cannot promise that I'll always
know the right words to comfort you
when you need support...
But I'll try
I cannot promise to always
Know what you're feeling
Or what will make you happy...
But I'll always remember to ask
I cannot promise to always
know how to cheer you
when you're down... But I'll be there with a smile
I cannot promise to always understand
But I'll always give my best
Though I cannot promise you many things
I can promise to be here for you today
Like there's no tomorrow.
know the right words to comfort you
when you need support...
But I'll try
I cannot promise to always
Know what you're feeling
Or what will make you happy...
But I'll always remember to ask
I cannot promise to always
know how to cheer you
when you're down... But I'll be there with a smile
I cannot promise to always understand
But I'll always give my best
Though I cannot promise you many things
I can promise to be here for you today
Like there's no tomorrow.
Love is always new
Love is always new.
No matter that we love one, two,
ten times in life we're always
a situation we don't know.
Love can take us to hell or to paradise,
but it always leads somewhere.
We must accept,
it's the food of our existence.
If we deny, starve, seeing
branches of the tree of life filled without
courage to reach out and pick fruit.
It's necessary to find love where you're,
even if it means hours, days,
weeks of disappointment and sadness.
Because at the moment
we left in search of love
love also comes to us.
No matter that we love one, two,
ten times in life we're always
a situation we don't know.
Love can take us to hell or to paradise,
but it always leads somewhere.
We must accept,
it's the food of our existence.
If we deny, starve, seeing
branches of the tree of life filled without
courage to reach out and pick fruit.
It's necessary to find love where you're,
even if it means hours, days,
weeks of disappointment and sadness.
Because at the moment
we left in search of love
love also comes to us.
Positive attitudes
Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.
When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!
Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.
Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge?Remember you are the architect of your life.
Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutionsthat you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. Thats life
Its not important to hold all the good cards in life. But its important how well you play with the cards which you hold.
Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `Relax dear its just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.
When you feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But dont make this a habit coz liars go to hell.
One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!
Only two types of persons are happy in this world. 1st is Mad and 2ndis Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy whatyou have achieved.
When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!
Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.
Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge?Remember you are the architect of your life.
Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutionsthat you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. Thats life
Its not important to hold all the good cards in life. But its important how well you play with the cards which you hold.
Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `Relax dear its just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.
When you feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But dont make this a habit coz liars go to hell.
One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!
Only two types of persons are happy in this world. 1st is Mad and 2ndis Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy whatyou have achieved.
10 Mysteries
Attached Image: monthly_10_2009/post-3783-1255048179.jpg
Magical moment: Kissing excited the pleasure centre of the brain
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fiona Macrae and Claire Bates
They have put a man on the moon and unlocked the secrets of the human genome.
But when it comes to the basics of human behaviour, scientists still don't have a clue.
Kissing, blushing and laughing are among the traits that have defied explanation by
biologists, physiologists, psychologists or evolutionary theorists.
Some hold that a kiss brings with it pleasurable memories of breastfeeding, and the love, comfort and security that went with it.
A less savoury suggestion is that we lock lips because we equate sharing saliva with pleasure.
Blushing also has the world's best brains flummoxed. Do we do it to appease, to seduce or to advertise our trustworthiness?
And why do we laugh at things that are not that funny? Scientists don't know.
Some of our most noble and fantastic activities - dreaming, altruism, art and superstition - feature in New Scientist's top ten unanswered questions about humanity.
More mundane mysteries also made it on to the list, including body hair and nose-picking.
Teenagers, inevitably, also pose a conundrum, with no other species going through an adolescent phase.
The transitional years may have evolved to give the brain the breathing space it needs to reorganise itself to deal with the demands of adulthood.
Or perhaps their purpose is to allow tomorrow's adults to find their feet.
Boys can learn how to be a real man before their bodies mature into that of a strong and potentially dangerous adult male. Girls, who go through puberty earlier, get the chance to practise acting like a grown-up woman.
Even nose-picking scrapes on to the list. Scientists charged with pinning down the motivation behind the habit, have so far concluded only that 'there isn't any significant nutritional content in nasal mucus'.
An editorial in New Scientist accompanying the list ponders on the strangeness of humanity, remarking: 'There is nothing more fascinating to most of us than ourselves.
'So it is hardly surprising that we have expended large amounts of effort trying to get to the bottom of what it means to be human.
'What is surprising is that there are still so many traits that remain enigmatic.
'These range from the sublime, such as art, dreaming and altruism, to the ridiculous - think pubic hair, blushing and nose-picking.'
But it goes on to say that in many cases, unlocking their mysteries can bring us closer to the heart of what it means to be human.
'They may seem quirky but the best explanations for them often have profound implications,' the piece concludes.
With that in mind, here are some scientists' educated guesses at how to explain the ten human habits that still mystify them:
KISSING
Not all cultures kiss, so the urge cannot be in our genes. Our lips are certainly one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies, with plenty of sensory neurons linked to the brain's pleasure centres.
Some believe it floods the brain with the love, security and comfort chemicals associated with breastfeeding. And our ancestors probably weaned their babies by mouth-to-mouth sharing of food, reinforcing the connection between sharing spit and pleasure.
Another idea is our foraging ancestors were attracted to red ripe fruit and so developed red lips to tempt sexual partners.
Kissing has been shown to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increase the bonding hormone oxytocin, so is good for our health and happiness.
BLUSHING
The explanation for blushing - a uniquely human trait - eluded even Charles Darwin who called it 'the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions.'
We may have originally used it to diffuse aggressive approaches by more dominant individuals. Over time it became associated with higher emotions such as guilt and embarrassment.
Neuroscientist's have noted that women blush more than men and therefore women may use it to demonstrate their honesty to men and foster trust.
'Blushing it tell you that I can't cuckold you,' V.S Ramachandran from the University of California said.
'If you ask me about infidelity I can't lie - my blush gives me away.'
SUPERSTITION
Attached Image: monthly_10_2009/post-3783-1255048574.jpg
Most of us act according to certain superstitions, even though logic tells us there is nothing inherently lucky or unlucky about a black cat such as the one pictured above.
According to scientists our brains are designed to see patterns and infer cause and effect, which leaves us open to irrational beliefs.
But tending to fear the worst would have given our ancestors a survival technique and ensured they did not dismiss a lion's approach as a rustle in the grass.
Others say we have an in-built tendency to believe in the supernatural, something that religion has tapped into. Robin Dunbar from the University College of London believes religion's main function is to persuade a community to toe the line and promote cohesion.
Superstition also tends to increase in difficult circumstances, when people feel they are losing control over their lives. A study of people living in high-risk areas of the Middle East found they were more likely to carry lucky charms than other people.
ALTRUISM
Biologists believe that doing good deeds is part of human nature. They just can't decide why we do them.
After all, what is the point of helping others, if they are not guaranteed to return the favour? Robert Trivers of Rutgers University in New Jersey argues that natural selection favoured our altruistic ancestors because they could expect to benefit. However these tendencies became misguided as we developed a globalised world.
Others say altruism may help with group bonding - or perhaps we just like the buzz of doing a good turn.
Attached Image: monthly_10_2009/post-3783-1255048707.jpg
ART
Art may be like the peacock's tail - an outward display that someone is a good catch.
For instance, a study by Geoffrey Miller at the University of New Mexico shows that women prefer creativity over wealth when their fertility is at its peak.
Others believe the drive to seek out aesthetic experiences evolved to encourage us to learn about different aspects of the world - those that our brain's have not equipped us to deal with at birth.
Ellen Dissanayake from the University of Washington said making an object or event 'special' would bond a social group together. It may have started as a ritual and then become more aesthetic.
TEENAGERS
As no other animal species has to suffer adolescence, it may have evolved to give the exceptionally large human brain time to reorganise itself to deal with the demands of adulthood.
'The brain is roughly the same size at 20 as it is at 12, yet we can do so much more with it,' David Brainbridge from the University of Cambridge said.
He concluded our teenage years 'are the most important part of human life.'
The period may allow tomorrow's men and women to test out their behaviour, safe in the knowledge they have plenty of time to right any mistakes and increase their chances of reproducing.
DREAMING
Dreams help us process and consolidate emotions without the rush of stress hormones that would accompany the real experience.
They also help with memory and problem-solving. People are better at recalling lists of related words and links between them after a night's sleep than after the same time spent awake in the day.
It was recently discovered that we can dream even outside of REM sleep. REM dreams were found to involve long stories with more emotion, while non REM dreams often involved friendly interactions. Patrick McNamara of Boston University believes REM dreams help us to cope with aggression, while non REM dreams support cooperative behaviour.
Now that most researchers reject Sigmund Freud's belief that dreams express our unconscious desires, the meaning of our visions in our sleep remains a mystery.
LAUGHTER
Attached Image: monthly_10_2009/post-3783-1255048831.jpg
The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall share a joke...
but scientists don't know what makes us laugh
--------------------------------------------------------------
Laughter boosts levels of feel-good endorphins, helping us bond with others. 'Laughing at' can be used to push people away.
But what makes us laugh is more tricky - a ten-year study found that most of us are more tickled by banal comments such as 'Do you have a rubber band?' than by supposedly funny jokes.
Apes maintain the ancestral 'pant-pant' laugh when they are tickled. In humans this developed into a 'ha-ha.' It can vary between natural laughter and aggressive, embarrassed or nervous laughter.
BODY HAIR
Humans are 'naked apes' but have thick hair around the genitals, while other primates have finer hair.
It may be that the hair may waft odours that signal sexual maturity and may also act as a visual signal of adulthood.
This situation is thought to have evolved 3.3million years ago - at the same time as lice.
PICKING YOUR NOSE
One in four teenagers engage in the habit, at an average of four times a day, a study found.
Scientists say the habit brings with it no nutritional benefits - although ingesting 'nasal detritus' might help build a healthy immune response. It may also decrease one's susceptibility to allergies.
The most recent research dates back to 1966 when Sidney Tarachow from State University of New York found people who ate bogeys found them 'tasty.'
Magical moment: Kissing excited the pleasure centre of the brain
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fiona Macrae and Claire Bates
They have put a man on the moon and unlocked the secrets of the human genome.
But when it comes to the basics of human behaviour, scientists still don't have a clue.
Kissing, blushing and laughing are among the traits that have defied explanation by
biologists, physiologists, psychologists or evolutionary theorists.
Some hold that a kiss brings with it pleasurable memories of breastfeeding, and the love, comfort and security that went with it.
A less savoury suggestion is that we lock lips because we equate sharing saliva with pleasure.
Blushing also has the world's best brains flummoxed. Do we do it to appease, to seduce or to advertise our trustworthiness?
And why do we laugh at things that are not that funny? Scientists don't know.
Some of our most noble and fantastic activities - dreaming, altruism, art and superstition - feature in New Scientist's top ten unanswered questions about humanity.
More mundane mysteries also made it on to the list, including body hair and nose-picking.
Teenagers, inevitably, also pose a conundrum, with no other species going through an adolescent phase.
The transitional years may have evolved to give the brain the breathing space it needs to reorganise itself to deal with the demands of adulthood.
Or perhaps their purpose is to allow tomorrow's adults to find their feet.
Boys can learn how to be a real man before their bodies mature into that of a strong and potentially dangerous adult male. Girls, who go through puberty earlier, get the chance to practise acting like a grown-up woman.
Even nose-picking scrapes on to the list. Scientists charged with pinning down the motivation behind the habit, have so far concluded only that 'there isn't any significant nutritional content in nasal mucus'.
An editorial in New Scientist accompanying the list ponders on the strangeness of humanity, remarking: 'There is nothing more fascinating to most of us than ourselves.
'So it is hardly surprising that we have expended large amounts of effort trying to get to the bottom of what it means to be human.
'What is surprising is that there are still so many traits that remain enigmatic.
'These range from the sublime, such as art, dreaming and altruism, to the ridiculous - think pubic hair, blushing and nose-picking.'
But it goes on to say that in many cases, unlocking their mysteries can bring us closer to the heart of what it means to be human.
'They may seem quirky but the best explanations for them often have profound implications,' the piece concludes.
With that in mind, here are some scientists' educated guesses at how to explain the ten human habits that still mystify them:
KISSING
Not all cultures kiss, so the urge cannot be in our genes. Our lips are certainly one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies, with plenty of sensory neurons linked to the brain's pleasure centres.
Some believe it floods the brain with the love, security and comfort chemicals associated with breastfeeding. And our ancestors probably weaned their babies by mouth-to-mouth sharing of food, reinforcing the connection between sharing spit and pleasure.
Another idea is our foraging ancestors were attracted to red ripe fruit and so developed red lips to tempt sexual partners.
Kissing has been shown to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increase the bonding hormone oxytocin, so is good for our health and happiness.
BLUSHING
The explanation for blushing - a uniquely human trait - eluded even Charles Darwin who called it 'the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions.'
We may have originally used it to diffuse aggressive approaches by more dominant individuals. Over time it became associated with higher emotions such as guilt and embarrassment.
Neuroscientist's have noted that women blush more than men and therefore women may use it to demonstrate their honesty to men and foster trust.
'Blushing it tell you that I can't cuckold you,' V.S Ramachandran from the University of California said.
'If you ask me about infidelity I can't lie - my blush gives me away.'
SUPERSTITION
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Most of us act according to certain superstitions, even though logic tells us there is nothing inherently lucky or unlucky about a black cat such as the one pictured above.
According to scientists our brains are designed to see patterns and infer cause and effect, which leaves us open to irrational beliefs.
But tending to fear the worst would have given our ancestors a survival technique and ensured they did not dismiss a lion's approach as a rustle in the grass.
Others say we have an in-built tendency to believe in the supernatural, something that religion has tapped into. Robin Dunbar from the University College of London believes religion's main function is to persuade a community to toe the line and promote cohesion.
Superstition also tends to increase in difficult circumstances, when people feel they are losing control over their lives. A study of people living in high-risk areas of the Middle East found they were more likely to carry lucky charms than other people.
ALTRUISM
Biologists believe that doing good deeds is part of human nature. They just can't decide why we do them.
After all, what is the point of helping others, if they are not guaranteed to return the favour? Robert Trivers of Rutgers University in New Jersey argues that natural selection favoured our altruistic ancestors because they could expect to benefit. However these tendencies became misguided as we developed a globalised world.
Others say altruism may help with group bonding - or perhaps we just like the buzz of doing a good turn.
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ART
Art may be like the peacock's tail - an outward display that someone is a good catch.
For instance, a study by Geoffrey Miller at the University of New Mexico shows that women prefer creativity over wealth when their fertility is at its peak.
Others believe the drive to seek out aesthetic experiences evolved to encourage us to learn about different aspects of the world - those that our brain's have not equipped us to deal with at birth.
Ellen Dissanayake from the University of Washington said making an object or event 'special' would bond a social group together. It may have started as a ritual and then become more aesthetic.
TEENAGERS
As no other animal species has to suffer adolescence, it may have evolved to give the exceptionally large human brain time to reorganise itself to deal with the demands of adulthood.
'The brain is roughly the same size at 20 as it is at 12, yet we can do so much more with it,' David Brainbridge from the University of Cambridge said.
He concluded our teenage years 'are the most important part of human life.'
The period may allow tomorrow's men and women to test out their behaviour, safe in the knowledge they have plenty of time to right any mistakes and increase their chances of reproducing.
DREAMING
Dreams help us process and consolidate emotions without the rush of stress hormones that would accompany the real experience.
They also help with memory and problem-solving. People are better at recalling lists of related words and links between them after a night's sleep than after the same time spent awake in the day.
It was recently discovered that we can dream even outside of REM sleep. REM dreams were found to involve long stories with more emotion, while non REM dreams often involved friendly interactions. Patrick McNamara of Boston University believes REM dreams help us to cope with aggression, while non REM dreams support cooperative behaviour.
Now that most researchers reject Sigmund Freud's belief that dreams express our unconscious desires, the meaning of our visions in our sleep remains a mystery.
LAUGHTER
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The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall share a joke...
but scientists don't know what makes us laugh
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Laughter boosts levels of feel-good endorphins, helping us bond with others. 'Laughing at' can be used to push people away.
But what makes us laugh is more tricky - a ten-year study found that most of us are more tickled by banal comments such as 'Do you have a rubber band?' than by supposedly funny jokes.
Apes maintain the ancestral 'pant-pant' laugh when they are tickled. In humans this developed into a 'ha-ha.' It can vary between natural laughter and aggressive, embarrassed or nervous laughter.
BODY HAIR
Humans are 'naked apes' but have thick hair around the genitals, while other primates have finer hair.
It may be that the hair may waft odours that signal sexual maturity and may also act as a visual signal of adulthood.
This situation is thought to have evolved 3.3million years ago - at the same time as lice.
PICKING YOUR NOSE
One in four teenagers engage in the habit, at an average of four times a day, a study found.
Scientists say the habit brings with it no nutritional benefits - although ingesting 'nasal detritus' might help build a healthy immune response. It may also decrease one's susceptibility to allergies.
The most recent research dates back to 1966 when Sidney Tarachow from State University of New York found people who ate bogeys found them 'tasty.'
Do you really love
DO you really love him? Faced with this question, anybody is bound to dither. What is “love”? And, what is “really love?” How do you know whether you really love someone as opposed to just being fond of him or her? And, can you possibly really love more than one person at a time in a romantic and sexual manner?
Try it. Ask yourself if you really love your husband, wife or lover. If you are a mature, reasonably intelligent and honest person, you are sure to start worrying about the true definition of love. Unending discussions about the pros and cons apart, what Reality TV has managed to do is successfully stir up the cauldron of human emotions, helping us question rather than just accept or hide them; shown us that our trespasses don’t make us freaks; there are many more like us, and last but not least, revealed to us the multiple dimensions of the human personality.
When TV actor Rupa Ganguly was asked on the last episode of Sach Ka Saamna if she really loved her younger boyfriend, she replied in the affirmative. The polygraph test however caught her out, successfully preventing her from carrying the 25-lakh booty home. A visibly disappointed Rupa said, “At 42 you are not as sure of the definition of love as you are at say 25. How do you define love? I would say I love Dibyendu, but the polygraph test obviously thinks otherwise!”
And Rupa very rightly raised the question, what then is love? According to her definition of it, she loves Dibyendu, but is there another more valid definition that is followed by the polygraph machine? Does her definition differ from that of her mother’s, her sister’s, her friend’s or the rest of the world’s? And, if that is so, is that relevant? Isn’t it enough that she knows she loves her boyfriend?
And, what happens if a man and a woman who fancy themselves in love with each other, realise that they are unable to relate to each other’s definition of love? When Cordelia’s professed love for her father, King Lear, falls short of his expectations, she loses her share of the kingdom, yet that doesn’t mean she loves him any less than her silvertongued sisters, Regan and Goneril! In romantic love too, no two individuals can profess to love each other in exactly the same manner and to the same depth. Whose definition must then be followed?
The safest bet of course would be to follow your own criteria, your own definition of what love means to you. It’s how you connect to your loved one that matters more than any definitions of how you should connect! As for how do you know if you are really in love, there are as many suggestions as there are people in love. You are in love when you would rather not live life without the other person; when he or she is the first that springs to mind in happiness or grief; when the other person is a constant companion even in absentia, and when sometimes your loved one’s happiness takes precedence over yours…
Such a loving may or may not last a lifetime, but whatever the span, it soaks up your entire being. Which is why it is difficult to understand when people say they can be in love with more than one person at a time! Going back to the show, Rupa admitted in an answer to a previous question that she still loved her exhusband. The polygraph test gave its blessing for that admission. Let’s forget the debate on whether the polygraph test is the biggest liar around and focus on Rupa, who actually admitted to loving two men at the same time — her ex and her present lover.
This polyamorous (having more than one romantic or sexual relationship) admission gives rise to the debate on whether we can love two or more people at the same time? The situation called for a quick dipstick test and I asked around. Yes, came the response. Some men and women said it is possible to love more than one person at a time. Said Rema, 34, “You can love different people for different qualities and in different ways.” Kartik, 43, added, “There are different phases to loving. At one stage you may love one kind of a person, while at another stage you may be attracted to a different person. That doesn’t mean you have to necessarily stop loving the earlier person. You could be loving both of them at the same time though maybe with different intensity and in different ways.”
Dr Helen Fisher in Why We Love talks about our three mating drives — romantic love, lust and attachment. The brain circuits behind these, she says, do not always work in tandem and each of these could be focused on different people at the same time. And so, Dr Fisher concludes that human beings are “neurologically able to love more than one person at a time.”
If we believe that there is no one kind of loving, but different kinds, we have to accept that we may fall for different kinds of people simultaneously. But I would say that those who do, couldn’t be really intense lovers. For the most intense ones, the world begins and ends with the object of their affection. The extremely focused attention, obsession and goal directed behaviour is exactly what romantic love is all about. For as long as it lasts of course…
Life to love
Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship.
It's not about how we care in the beginning, but how much we grow and nourish one another in a relationship.
Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you do with them - build a wall or a bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.
Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face, because beautiful things won't last forever, but a golden heart does and will prosper you and add value to yourself.
It's not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it's important how well you play the cards which you hold.
MY LUV WITH U
I wanna say
"I love you dear"
But you're not here.
How many times
And how many lines
Did we write each other
Professing our love to one another?
This day is no exception,
I have no misconseptions.
Even though we're not together
My heart's with you forever.
We've been apart so long
And still we hear our song.
Like the stars in the sky
Some feelings never die.
You tell me that you love me
And I'm your destiny.
Well ... all I know
Is that I still want you so.
It's a special day, today!
So once again I'll say-
No matter who... no matter how far,
No matter what... Darlin'
My Love is Where You Are
"I love you dear"
But you're not here.
How many times
And how many lines
Did we write each other
Professing our love to one another?
This day is no exception,
I have no misconseptions.
Even though we're not together
My heart's with you forever.
We've been apart so long
And still we hear our song.
Like the stars in the sky
Some feelings never die.
You tell me that you love me
And I'm your destiny.
Well ... all I know
Is that I still want you so.
It's a special day, today!
So once again I'll say-
No matter who... no matter how far,
No matter what... Darlin'
My Love is Where You Are
CONSCIOUS CALL
CONSCIOUS CALL:
I MAY BE EXCUSED FOR ANY INCONVENIENCES CAUSED UNINTENTIONALLY.
1. I’M POOR PAID RETIRED PERSON HAVING LARGE LIABILITIES.
2. MY BANK BALANCE IS POOR BUT CAN AFFORD WITH HARDNESS.
3. M.O.U .SHOULD BE TRANSPARENT & ACCEPTED WITH PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION.
4. CONSIGNMENT NEED BE VERIFIED PRIOR FINANCIAL TRANSACTION.
5. CELL CALL & REMITTANCE TO UNKNOWN PERSON’S A/C , NOT DESIRABLE.
6. I LIKE TO BE CHEATED BY TRUSTED FRIEND WITHOUT BREAKING FAITH.
7. I’VE COMPLIED ALMOST ALL FORMALITIES, NOW IT’S YOUR TURN.
8. I WISH TO HEAR FROM YOU DIRECTLY .
9. SOME MORE ELEMENTS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS DEAL, I PRESUME.
10. FINANCIALLY I MAY BE GROUPED POOR BUT RICH IN MENTAL STRUCTURE.
11. MY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS ARE NOT SUPPORTING PROPERLY
12. REALIZING ALL THESE CONDITIONS, I LIKE TO COME IN DEFINITE CONCLUSION, AS SUGGESTED BY YOU .
13. HAVE FAITH IN GOD. I’M ALWAYS FOR YOUR SERVICE.
14. WITH BEST REGARDS & LOVE
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